1. Beware of the man who denounces ambition;
his fingers itch under his gloves
2.Beware of the man who denounces war
through clenched teeth
3.Beware of the man who denounces women writers;
his penis is tiny & cannot spell
4.Beware of the man who wants to protect you;
he will protect you from everything but
himself
5.Beware of the man who loves to cook;
he will fill your kitchen with greasy pots.
6.Beware of the man who loves your soul;
he is a bullshitter.
7.Beware of the man who denounces his mother;
he is a son of a bitch.
8.Beware of the man who spells son of a bitch as one word;
he is a hack.
9.Beware of the man who loves death too well;
he is taking out insurance.
10.Beware of the man who loves life too well;
he is a fool.
11.Beware of the man who denounces psychiatrists;
he is afraid.
12.Beware of the man who trusts psychiatrists;
he is in hock.
13.Beware of the man who picks your dresses;
he wants to wear them.
14.Beware of the man you think is harmless;
he will surprise you.
15.Beware of the man who cares for nothing but books;
he will run like a trickle of ink.
16.Beware of the man who writes flowery love letters;
he is preparing for years of silence.
17.Beware of the man who praises liberated women;
he is planning to quit his job.
Labels: Erica Jong