Of all the college pastimes
I discovered and indulged in,
Gossip, study, romance,
I most loved drinking gin.
I found that when I cut it
With just a smidgen of vermouth
It made others more appealing,
My wit that much more couth.
Then early in my sophomore year
I happened to discover
That Bloody Marys in the morning
Helped me to recover.
It was then I stopped because
I saw where things were leading.
The deeper that you cut, you know,
The harder stops the bleeding.
Labels: Dorothy Parker